If only
by Minne-My
Summary: Bernie is unhappy at her daughter after her wedding


They walked through the door with their Christmas shopping bags, laughter dying as they turned to face the wrath of the absentee mother. Bernie stood in her former living room reluctantly flanked by her son. She'd been looking at the family photos again. But this time she didn't feel the need to feel sheepish or guilty about it. Those days were long gone.

'Mum! I didn't know you were coming.'

Bernie stared at her daughter with mounting fury, a tension that didn't go unnoticed by Marcus who moved closer protectively. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. Her tone was curt.

'Nice to see you at last. Thanks for the reply by the way.'

Charlotte blushed angrily. Her no reply no show had distressed Bernie more than she'd like to admit to her friends.

'I didn't feel comfortable with it.'

'You had no intention of accepting our invitation, did you?'

'I couldn't handle it! Whose mum has a midlife lesbian wedding anyway? It's embarrassing.'

'I'm sorry I'm not the kind of mum you wanted' Bernie started, her voice shaking with anger. 'And I don't expect you to forgive me. But I do expect that you at least give me an answer to something important to me.'

'Well excuse me for not joining in the freak family circus of the year.'

'Stop being such a brat' cut in Cameron. 'Do you know how upsetting it was for mum that everyone knew you were petty enough not to turn up? She and Serena didn't deserve that from you.'

'You're a fully paid up member to the Serena Campbell fanclub aren't you?' Said Charlotte spitefully, trying to hide her jealousy. She didn't want to have to like this new woman (five years in was still new, right?) and for her brother to regularly enjoy her company was too much to bear.

'You only ever bothered meeting Serena for five minutes, you weren't willing to give her a chance.'

'Now Charlie has her reasons and you should respect that' Marcus stated, putting a protective hand on her shoulder.

'And she should respect my reasons for moving on and having my own life.' Marcus didn't like the cold look she gave him. He'd rarely had to see that from her and he wasn't used to it.

'You've always had your own life' muttered her daughter.

'How many times do you want me to explain myself? Because I talk but you never seem to be listening.' She hated that sulky look on her daughter's face. Charlie could be so petulant. She softened her voice to try and calm herself down.

'You know how I felt. All I wanted was for you to be there.'

'What did it matter to you? You had Cam.'

'It's not either/or. I'm not asking you to choose.'

She didn't look at him but Marcus shifted uncomfortably while Cam glanced over. Her ex-husband now had the grace to admit his error in making their children choose him in a publicly humiliating manner. Mother and daughter locked eyes and clashed wills against each other. The room vibrated with fury. Stalemate. Cam broke it.

'It was a really good day. It would have been better if you had been there.'

'Why?'

'At least one of our daughters would have been.'

Cam had avoided saying it but if pushed, would do so. He let Bernie take the lead.

'Because Serena's daughter was never going to be there. Do you know how upsetting it is to see your partner cry on and off during a celebration? Knowing that no matter how much rudeness we'd have to put up from her, she would have been there. You could have both stayed in the corner rolling your eyes in disdain at us the entire time, we wouldn't have cared.'

'If you knew I was going to be rude, why would you invite me anyway?'

'Do you know how bitchy Elinor was? I wanted to slap her myself. But with all that attitude, she was still Serena's daughter and she still missed her. That's what being a parent is, never stopping loving your child even when they don't love you back.'

Charlotte searched for something to bite back with but got nothing.

'At least I know where I stand' said Bernie quietly. She didn't even look at Marcus as she strode out. Cam stopped to give his sister an envelope.

'She would have loved it if you had been there. Maybe one day you'll regret not seeing her so happy. She's done her penance. She doesn't deserve your contempt.'

It wasn't until after they'd driven away did the envelope get opened. Out spilled glossy pictures of a radiant Bernie in grey, Serena in red, silk dresses accessorised with simple gold wedding rings. The other man she thought must be the nephew. Cam smiling proudly, a bunch of people Charlotte had never bothered to got to know, all having fun at a registry office she could have easily driven to. Marcus sighed sadly, wishing that she'd been that happy on their wedding day. She had seemed it. But she hadn't glowed even as much as this. Now knowing how emotions had run high that day, he looked out for signs for Serena's unhappiness. He could spot it in the corner of a photo, lurking and ready to pounce. There was that look in her eye, that expression revealing how she was fighting the overwhelming reality of lost family members. He pitied her for his daughter was alive and well. For the first time in five years, he could feel the anger at his ex-wife slowly slipping away.

'Maybe you should see her again. Think about it.'

He left Charlotte with the photos and went to put the shopping away. She was upset but didn't know who it was aimed at. She didn't know what to think anymore. Stuffing the photos in the envelope, she stomped upstairs and hid them under her pillow. She knew she might regret it but she wasn't ready to see her mum so happy just yet.


End file.
